writing a letter 101

21Dec09

In your arms is my safest place in the world …

You’ve got the most beautiful blue eyes I’ve ever seen …

I love the way you blush so easily …

Remember when you used to tell me fairy tales to fall asleep to? I still haven’t forgotten those …

Your support – no matter how wrong my decisions and actions have been in the past – has been one of the most important gestures of love I’ve ever experienced in my life …

I miss driving around aimlessly and singing with you in the early AM hours and stopping to watch the sun rise …

I don’t know what I’d do without our daily 45 minute long phone calls …

Thank you for being my constant friend and never letting go of my hand …

You look absolutely adorable fresh out of the shower …

That comment you left meant more to me than you’ll ever know …

Every time you kiss me on the cheek on the way out the door, sunshine fills my morning even on the rainiest days …

We’ve had so many fierce arguments but in the end you always make sure that I know you love me. You’ve taught me the true meaning of forgiveness and never going to sleep angry …

Your laugh makes me laugh …

Your mouth and lips have made me compare every other person’s to yours and no one’s have ever come close …

You live so far away … in another city, province, country or continent … but I dream of popping over and sharing a bottle of wine with you …

Remember that time we sat in your parked car listening to Eminem’s ‘Lose Yourself’ rocking out to it’s awesomeness on repeat the first day it came out? I’ll never forget that hour as long as I live and every time I hear it I think of you and me that night …

Remember sitting on your patio in the ghetto smoking joint after joint, drinking No Name orange punch overlooking the highway while making plans to bust out of that hell on earth? Remember how shitty we thought it was at the time? Well, I’d give anything to be back on that patio in the ghetto overlooking the highway with you. It was magic.

When you dress up in my clothes and shoes and call yourselves Jennifer, my heart melts. You want to be me and I want you to be you but you have no idea how much that makes my heart smile …

I love when you talk. Your voice is like music to my ears and all I want to do is sit there silently and listen to you say words …

You are the one person in this world I want to lay beneath the sky and watch shooting stars with …

Thank you for not stopping making me laugh until you see tears down my cheeks …

Thank you for reading my blog. I’m not a writer or funny or popular and a lot of this is just thinking out loud for no rhyme or reason … but the fact you actually make a point of coming here and reading my words makes happy and makes me want to share my thoughts more often. I adore and appreciate your friendship …

Thank you for having passion in life. You inspire me to create and dream and believe in myself and it’s a real honour to know you …

Thank you for having an opinion of your own, for being your own and for not being swayed by trends, fads and cool kids. You’re good people and the universe has something special in store for you …

Thank you for being honest with me while being kind at the same time. It’s a skill that not too many people have and it’s very refreshing …

You’re etched into my soul forever and I wouldn’t have it any other way …

Thanks for sharing that song/video/thought/quote/picture … it made me stop, think and feel something different for a moment. Every time I hear it, see it or read it I think of you …

When you call me beautiful it makes me feel like a princess …

You are destined for greatness and I can’t wait to see you succeed. When you do, I’ll be there giving a toast and celebrating the night away with you …

Your smile is the most beautiful thing about you …

Your photos and creations are things of pure beauty. I hope you realize that and pursue it as a career one day. I will be one of your most devoted customers …

I can’t wait to walk down an aisle to your side, surrounded by our family and friends wearing a pretty dress and holding white lilies tied with a simple white ribbon. And how handsome and charming you will look …

I can’t wait to fight back tears from the moment I wake up that morning till they flood when you read what will probably be some deep and poetic words. I can’t wait for you to make me and everyone laugh to lighten the atmosphere, as you do so well. I can’t wait to breathe a sigh of relief when the last tear has fallen and the only tears that await me are the ones of pure happiness in the fact every single person we love is in one room enjoying themselves.

I can’t wait for a night of good music and dancing and champagne and excellent food to celebrate US finally putting a ring on it. I can’t wait for that party …

And if we can never afford that party, I still can’t wait to grow old with you and wake up every single morning next to you. When our girls are grown and gone, I want the twenty year old us’s to be reborn and while we might not be able to smoke the weed or drink the drinks or walk around the city forever and hike the highest peaks like we used to, I want to see the world with your hand in mine …

You are my best friend in the world …

I love you.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I’ve heard and read so many people ask this time of year, “What do I get for the person who has everything?”

And I often want to say, “Write him/her a letter”

The art of pen to paper is dying and it’s a sad trend.

You might think it’s hard or goofy or pointless in a shiny, technology enhanced world … but it’s the one thing that your loved ones can look back on when everything else is broken beyond repair.

Find some paper, pick up a pen and write a letter. Three or four are going to be written over the next couple of days, too … my hand is going to hurt but it’s going to be so worth it. A handwritten letter touches the soul and brings it to life unlike any Apple product or flat screen TV or wad of twenties ever will.

If you don’t know what to get someone important in your life, a letter from you will be the most special thing they could ever receive. If they don’t find your heart and effort absolutely magical then they’re probably not meant to be and if they ask, “Now where’s my real present?” Well, then I’m very sorry.

An iPod Touch or Burton riding jacket or shiny necklace or pile of presents will not be remembered in those moments at the end. Ever.

I promise.

Filed under: heart   |  10 Comments

stuff happens and i like it

19Dec09

It’s around six o’clock on a Saturday night … I’m laying on the floor on my tummy typing this … a beautifully lit Christmas tree casts a glow around the living room.

There’s a glass of wine in front of me, a movie on TV, my daughters cuddled up on the couch and Colin directly across from me on his own laptop. Sometimes we’ll look up from our business and catch each other’s eye and he’ll give me a wink and I’ll give him back that twice eyebrow lift that says, ‘Hey hey there sexy…’

Yeah, I’m a geek in the blogging sense … he’s a nerd in the gaming sense … we’re dorks in the fact we’re on computers on the weekend … losers to the party people. I never imagined the day we’d be giving eyes from behind laptops across the room on a Saturday night, but I guess we’ve made it. Give me a hard smack though if we start instant messaging each other; that’d just be a travesty of major proportions! (unless they’re dirty IMs and then it’s game on, baby )

Speaking of travesty, I never made it to the Vancouver vs. Washington game last night. I don’t really want to talk about it but it ended up being one of the best games of the season and ugh … the tickets are still in the mail.

Long story. One which would’ve been super cool to tell if my brother and I actually made it there last night, but now I’m not in the mood and I’m only ever going to get truly stoked for Canucks games where cash and tangible tickets trade hands.

BAH.

It was still an awesome game and one I was happy to watch with Col (I guess the company I was supposed to have over didn’t really appreciate their four minutes notice and it didn’t happen … whatever …) but even he will tell you I wasn’t a great hockey pal last night. When the camera panned to empty seats I’d be all,

“I guess THOSE people’s tickets are STILL IN THE MAIL, too.”

And a few hundred of the same toned things. You get the idea.

Eventually he told me to plug it and my girls – who were in our room watching Santa Buddies – started asking for their Moonlight and Pinky Pie bears and I went into the war zone to find them, couldn’t and ended up cleaning their entire room and found cheese. Under the bed.

Cheese under the bed!

Holy crap, man. If a mouse or ant ever finds it’s way into our house they’ll have found the mother load. Geez.

Anyway, all is snazzy. I’ve got one Christmas present left to buy and much to wrap. I want to make vancityrockgirl’s homemade Irish Cream liquor, but not sure if I’ll get around to it.

I read Colin the post and he asked, “When are you going to get all creative like that?” And I replied, “Maybe sometime soon,” and he laughed so I think I’ll make some of my famous (Chipits package) chocolate chip cookies and wrap them in red cellophane with fancy ribbon and give those around.

Baby steps, ya’ll.

End story is that I’m pretty content right now as broke as we may be. Since I’ve decided that Christmas won’t be a gongshow and love is all you, I and everyone need(s), things are pretty chill this season.

Lights glow.

Kids are excited and bouncing around.

Col’s now off of work till sometime in January.

2010 is coming fast and hard and man, I cannot wait to toast out ‘09 and toast in a new year.

Random blog posts abound and goodness all around.

And lame attempts at rhyming

Filed under: randomly   |  4 Comments

best of blog part deux

17Dec09

Life’s becoming hectic with Christmas around the corner and inspiration to create tomes of thought and feeling is fleeting with a week or so to go. Expect nothing from me in terms of blogging this next little while unless you want to hear about Wednesday evenings spent stroking and smelling things at Pier 1 Imports or 75% chances of attending a Vancouver Canucks game on Friday night or how much I love the smell of wrapping paper or how I covet Cranberry scent from The Body Shop or how happy Christmas lights make me or that Sarah McLachlan’s Wintersong album is playing almost non-stop at my house with brief intermissions to watch the Christmas versions Toopy and Binoo and Little Bear. Typical December stuff here.

So.

Back to the Best of ‘09 Blog Challenge. All of it’s details can be found here.

Tonight I’m going to do Day 11 – 17.

December 11 – The best place. A coffee shop? A pub? A retreat center? A cubicle? A nook?

1. My soaker tub full of Lush product and lit by candlelight, ahhhhhhhh!

2. The amphitheater at Lighthouse Park in West Vancouver. Seriously, the most quiet and meditative place in Greater Vancouver.

3. A suite at GM Place.

4. Electronic Arts Burnaby studio. The creative energy that rolls through that place is indescribable. One of my favorite places to hang out with my man and to see him in (sexy, working) action.

December 12 – New food. You’re now in love with Lebanese food and you didn’t even know what it was in January of this year.

Hot sauces, hot peppers, curries … HAWT STUFF. Just typing that makes my mouth water. Though I’ve always known of heat and liked it, this year I’ve become obsessed with it.

December 13 – What’s the best change you made to the place you live?

Colin moved back home for good, actually unpacking his bags. The girls stopped sleeping in my bed with me, moved back to their own room and were replaced with a warm body to spoon or be spooned by. Corny, I know … but what can I say? He’s better than a home reno, paint job or shelving unit.

December 14 – Rush. When did you get your best rush of the year?

This has the potential of having a very dirty answer. So I’ll leave it at no comment for the sake of a PG-13 rated blog

December 15 – Best packaging. Did your headphones come in a sweet case? See a bottle of tea in another country that stood off the shelves?

December 16 – Tea of the year. I can taste my favorite tea right now. What’s yours?

I’m a hardcore coffee lover and can’t get on board with tea yet to the extent of having a favorite. I do enjoy the green and herbal fruit teas though.

December 17 – Word or phrase. A word that encapsulates your year. “2009 was _____.”

Electric.

Every feeling and emotion was amplified x100 and I’m so grateful to look back and realize how alive inside I’ve felt through it all.

Whether it was wanted, scared, discarded, broken, raw, hurt, jealous, loved, hated, hugged, confused, high five’d, kissed, danced with, twirled, dipped, complimented, flattered, cuddled, studied, questioned, doubted, patted on the back, RT’d and shared, happy, peaceful, calm, fulfilled, etc…

2009 was electric and alive.

And while I plan on it being far more balanced and healthy in 2010, I’m still going to live for those sparks in many areas … those truly alive moments are what make life worth living.

Filed under: heart, opinion, pleasures   |  6 Comments

worth the wait

15Dec09

I’ve never been one to force the Santa experience on my kids.

As newborns, Col and I bundled them up and as they slept in Santa’s arms, a picture was taken. At one, we didn’t bother – they weren’t old enough to grasp the concept.

At two, they asked to sit on his lap but didn’t really dig it. The picture hanging on the wall from that year is one of two fearful, white little faces and four watery, wide eyes.

At three, I asked them most days if they wanted to go sit on Santa’s lap, but they chose to watch him from above, behind the glass, one floor above where the North Pole was set up in the mall.

Again this year, I put no pressure on them – it’s just not my style to push anything on these kids but especially not the big man of the season!

We were at the mall the day Santa arrived at the end of November, watching from behind the glass. A few days later we stood at the white gate surrounding the North Pole, their hands in mine. Any time I tried to inch a little closer I’d feel the death grip pulling me back.

Every morning as I help them dress I ask, “Do you want to go see Santa today?” And every morning the answer is the same, “I’m not ready yet, mama”.

But yesterday morning I when I asked …

Lily, “Yea!”

Callie, “Mmmhmmm!”

We stood in a short line and observed the awesome decorations of a makeshift North Pole. I picked them up in my arms for a better view, said how proud I was of them, kissed their rosy cheeks and said I loved them while pulling off winter toques and flattening static filled hair. Then Callie said she had a secret to tell me.

“When I sit on Santa’s lap, can you hold my hand?” she whispered.

“Of course, sweetie”.

We made it to the front of the line in about ten minutes. I filled out the form for an $18 photo. Yes, $18 for one sheet. Robbery. But some of these occasions are worth marking, no matter the price.

As we walked, I reached for Callie’s hand and she said, “It’s okay, mama. I’m gonna be brave.”

The looks in their eyes as they walked up to Santa were full of wonder and awe. I actually started tearing up right there as I lifted them to his lap. Callie looked scared, so I walked over and took her hand as planned, but she shook her head softly.

Three photos were taken, all of them beautiful smiles.

Afterward, I walked back as Santa asked what they wanted for Christmas,

“A sparkling reindeer Christmas pillow”, answered Callie.

“A pony” answered Lily.

“A real pony?” asked Santa.

“A My Little Pony” said Lils.

(Whew!)

Santa gave them the coveted candy canes, I paid for the picture and the three of us sat outside the white gate looking at the *photo and checking out the crayons and activity books from the elves. I told them how proud I was of them, how brave they were and asked them what they thought of Santa.

“I love Santa!” they both said in unison.

Callie tapped my shoulder and whispered into my ear again, “Santa only brings one present and I asked for a sparkling reindeer Christmas pillow.”

(Thankully Colin knows what that is because I sure don’t! He says it’s at Pier 1 Imports … expensive tastes, sweet child).

Later that day we called Daddy and Gramma anybody else who’d listen.

As Callie sat on her bed talking to my mom while I folded laundry, all I heard was,

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sparkling reindeer Christmas pillow, yeah, yeah, candy cane, yeah, yeah … ” and then a very loud, clear and matter of factly,

“Santa’s a nice guy!”

Proud, proud mommy moment here.

*I’d love to include the picture but it was an additional $15 for a CD with one image. Ridiculousness!

Filed under: heart, la famille, pleasures   |  11 Comments