timelessness

06Nov09

I don’t own a cellphone.

I know. How do I live, right? *eyeroll*

Honestly, it’s not something I even notice anymore because it’s been so long. My last cellphone was back in 2006 and with that phone I had two others – one in Colin’s name and a ‘nanny’ phone for my mom who babysat my kids full-time when I went back to work.

I stopped being able to pay the monthly $300 bill when I decided to return back to the home full-time don’t exactly remember what happened but eventually I had no phone #1, #2 or #3 anymore and while I missed it at first, the longing was short lived.

It was around the time when people (not all, but many) stopped having real conversations because their noses were buried in their ’self-owns’ and it was almost enlightening in a way to not have a mobile device and to be able to witness the way technology started to consume so many.

A month or so ago, Colin gifted me with two executive suite tickets to the Jason Mraz concert at GM Place in Vancouver. While I had issues with the privileged mentalities of the regulars on the suite level, I had a pretty amazing view of everything (and a waitress, wine list, leather couch and a balcony seat cozier than my bed … I could soooo get used to that for the Vancouver Canucks season … damn privileged ones).

One of the moments that stuck out the most was when he sang ‘Beautiful Mess’ and 10,000 people had their Blackberries and iPhones waving above their heads the way lighters used to be.

It was an ocean of blue screens and I was like, “Okay, that’s up there on my ‘What’s This All About? list,” but okay. Smoking is pretty out of style around these parts but smoking dope isn’t – especially at a Mraz concert in Vancouver: Home of the best weed in the nation – so most people should technically should carry a lighter, but okay. Blue screens are the new flame. Noted.

What it did do was put it into major perspective how simple I am.

Really … I have no use for a cellphone. When I’m out and about with my girls, I don’t want to be contacted … that’s my time in the fresh air with my kids at the park, lake or beach … my time to grocery shop … my time to peruse a bookstore … my time to do everything and anything outside the home with 100% concentration on my tasks at hand.

Take the other day for example.

The girls and I went for a stroll to the nearby lake and up to the playground. It started getting dark (the time change is still messin’ with my head) and I was tempted to ask the time from somebody, but I decided that I’d just embrace the moment and use my instincts. I mean, Colin doesn’t get home till it’s pitch black so as long as we left while it was still light-ish, we’d be okay and he’d still get a warm dinner upon arrival.

And it was kind of cool just going with the flow like a kid. Remember when you were a kid and just played until your mom called you inside? Remember having no concept of time and just being?

That’s what it was like. My girls and I just being and naturally strolling home when we were tired of roaming.

Freedom.

And while I fully understand that many people enjoy being constantly connected, I can’t fathom being always available.

Those moments of timelessness are indescribable.

Filed under: nablopomo, randomly, self   |  16 Comments

changing my tune

05Nov09

Just about everything was right in my world this morning until I received a phone call from Colin who had just seen a friend who had just lost a friend to H1N1 and has two relatives hooked up to ventilators in the ICU as we speak.

(Graph by: pianoknight via Graph Jam Builder)

Most of you know that I despise the news as well as most forms of media – especially those that induce widespread panic and fear – so I’m not going to get into the details of the death. Feel free to email me privately if you want more information. What I will say is that the victim was a perfectly healthy 26 year old with absolutely no underlying conditions and the death was nothing short of horrifying and tragic.

My original plan of action was to take a natural approach to H1N1 utilizing an anti-flu diet supplemented with vitamins, minerals, rest and moderate exercise. I was adamant that my family and I would not receive the H1N1 vaccination, stating in many places around the internet that I refuse to inject foreign substance into my body or those of my children unless it is absolutely necessary.

Because I don’t like modern medicine. I have a doctor who always offers naturopathic suggestions to health ailments before prescriptions which I tend try first … I’m hesitant to ingest Tylenol or Advil let alone cold meds or anything stronger … medication is scarce at my house, in my body and in the bodies of my family.

I refuse the flu shot every single year (except for the year my girls were born). Last year we were all extremely sick but if you remember my life one year ago, it was the perfect definition of chaos. Colin and I were separated, I was working full-time and commuting daily to and from the city on public transportation, my kids were in a daycare centre full-time, my days started at 5am and ended somewhere after midnight, I wasn’t eating or taking care of myself properly and I was so completely out of my mind that I’m surprised I didn’t end up in a mental institution.

I had a whole slew of illnesses last year including the common cold, flu, bronchitis, laryngitis and pneumonia … but I totally earned them, you know?

This year I was pretty confident – in my current body/mind health and wellbeing – that I would sail through H1N1 effortlessly with the mentality that people who take good care of themselves aren’t affected.

But then I received that phone call … I made phone calls and sent emails … I listened and talked, listened and talked … a few hours later I received a phone call from Colin’s friend who lost a friend but by then my decision was made.

So on Saturday we all get vaccinated.

And hope we don’t all turn into the screeching night zombies in I Am Legend.

Filed under: nablopomo, opinion, self   |  11 Comments

if you’re out today …

04Nov09

Filed under: heart, nablopomo   |  11 Comments

silence is golden

03Nov09

I’m writing this post less than 12 hours after my last in an attempt to get ahead of the NaBloPoMo game. The past few years, my demise has always been leaving my posts till the very last minute and panicking. I felt that familiar feeling last night when I posted Day 2 with less than 15 minutes to spare – so no more!

What I know about myself for sure is that early morning is my ideal time of day, so the goal starting tomorrow is to wake up a few hours earlier than normal and do something alone. If it’s nice outside I’ll go for a run … yoga … go to the gym … meditation … write my posts and read blogs … eat breakfast … drink coffee … all in complete silence.

I miss silence … need silence … crave silence.

As I commented on Mary’s post today, silence and sleep are two things I never fully appreciated pre-kiddos; lack of them leaves me feeling frazzled and at wits end by evening.

So starting tonight, I go to bed early.

Starting tomorrow, I wake up early.

Because silence truly is golden …

Do you have moments of absolute silence … is it important to you and your well-being … if so, is it a natural part of your day to day life or have you enforced it?

Filed under: nablopomo, pleasures, resolution, self   |  10 Comments