See what Mr. Mraz had to say about it.

Happy weekend!

In this house, weekend mornings are super chill. Slooooow Mo. No clocks, no plans, no obligations. One of my favourite things to do on a Saturday is listen to a little inspiring music, pour a fresh cup of coffee and do a good meme.

So this morning it’s all about Explosions in the Sky ‘Birth and Death of a Day‘ – which I believe is the most inspiring musical creation in the history of music … oh my GOD, this song and video are so good that my mind wants to explode in pleasure after I do something wild like grow wings and fly around the world sprinkling golden fairy dust while kissing millions of cheeks and delivering taser shots of love … it’s seriously so inspiring and gorgeous … a reminder of why I’m alive … to experience beautiful things like this.

Oh, and a meme my friend, Raino, shared on her blog earlier.

So, so much love to her … she’s a gem. Her generous and giving spirit will be remembered every Christmas when I set out the beautiful tree skirt she sent me last year from across the country.

As for the meme, it’s a deep thinking one and I love it. Let’s do it …

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Perfect happiness, hmmm. For me it’d be a combination of excellent health … madly and passionately loving and being loved … the ability to create something beautiful everyday … to give myself to the world in a way that would bring light, hope and joy to people’s lives who are less fortunate than myself … opening my bedroom window to sunshine and breathing in clean, fresh air every morning then drinking a glass of fresh squeezed juice made from the oranges I just picked off the tree in my backyard.

What is your greatest fear?

Forgetting people, experiences, feelings, memories.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

None.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Ego, negativity, desperation to fit in or being without passion.

What is your greatest extravagance?

An hour all to myself in a hot bath, glass of wine to sip.

What is your current state of mind?

Ease, peace, calm, inspired, open.

What is the quality you most like in a man?

Kindness, passion, compassion and the ability to love and be loved.

What is the quality you most like in a woman?

Kindness, passion, compassion and the ability to love and be loved.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

Amazing and awesome! I think a new world is due … amasome … awezing … ?

When and where were you happiest?

In this moment.

Who are your favorite writers?

The thinkers and dreamers, the songwriters and poets, the ones who inspire and who aim to touch the stars and beyond.

Which talent would you most like to have?

To dance like Michael Jackson or one of his dancers in This Is It.

If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?

Our location – I’d love to steal them away to a warmer climate at the edge of the ocean in a hippie-esque community away from urban sprawl and pollution. A simpler, cleaner way of life.

If you died and came back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?

A wandering, adventuring soul with only a notebook and camera.

What do you dislike most about your appearance?

Nothing. Acceptance and self-love is a pretty amazing thing.

Where would you like to live?

Like I said before, a warmer climate at the edge of the ocean in a hippie-esque community away from urban sprawl and pollution. Somewhere I can grow gardens, flowers and orange and lemon trees.

What is your most treasured possession?

My photos.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

Being without love or the ability to love.

What do you most value in your friends?

Ease, laughter, the ability to share themselves as well as listen, sing, dance, smile, cry and hug … and the ability to have comfortable silences and quiet contemplation in each other’s presence.

What are your favorite names?

Callie and Lily … but also, Brooklyn. That’s what I was going to name my daughter if I had only one.

What is it that you most dislike?

Wet cold, alarm clocks, negativity, angry, egotistical and harsh people, close mindedness.

What is your greatest regret?

No regrets, baby. I’ve loved my entire journey so far.

How would you like to die?

Suddenly … like if Earth just exploded into dust in the universe.

What is your motto?

Focus on the moment. Be love.

I did the walk n’ snap throw about a hundred times tonight for anybody … my mom, my brother, Colin, his brother, Callie and Lily …

Singing, “You’ve been hit by … you’ve been struck by … a smooth criminal”

Head. Pop, lock. Shoulders. Pop, lock. Neck. Pop, lock.

“Annie are you ok … so, Annie are you ok, are you ok, Annie?”

My brother, “You’re NOT a dancer, Jen.” (It seems as though I embarrass him in public appropriately).

Heh.

I finally saw This Is It today and if I have my way, maybe Colin will stream it for me so I can watch it in bed tonight before I fall asleep. And if I’m really lucky I’ll be gifted the DVD for Christmas so I can actually stand up and dance to it instead of being confined to a reclining chair in the theater, where all I can do is groove is my head, fingers, legs and feet.

I know that you, my tens of readers, are rolling your eyes at me right now and that’s quite alright. I won’t lie … it’s been difficult to find an equally big Michael Jackson fan anywhere but YouTube and Europe since he died.

But I grew up on Michael … so did my little brother. My mom forced us to listen to him on vinyl just like she did with all her 60s/70s/80s records … and we liked it. My first kiss was Michael Jackson. Our babysitter taught us the moonwalk for an entire summer. I cried at the video debut of Thriller when I was 4 (FOUR YEARS OLD, MOM! That’s how old my girls are, ha )

Anyway, today was a day I’ll never forget.

With my MJ comrades – my mom and brother – I took at seat at This Is It and was instantly fascinated and transfixed on this legend of a man, his absolutely mind blowing dancers, back up vocalists and production crew.

And holy shit, I was in awe.

Of dancing I could only dream of doing myself …

Of Michael’s perfectionism …

Of his gentleness …

Of his passion and energy …

Of the stage set including a massive background screen and that they actually taped large production films to show on that screen for the shows (you should SEE the new Thriller video WOAH) …

Oh, man. This Is It would have been such a very, very epic show.

He says at one point in the movie, “It’s all for love. L-O-V-E” … Yes! He knows. He was love, a lover of Earth and humankind (despite how hated he was by many accusatory and judgmental people of his home, North America).

And those people are the most beautiful people – the kind I of people I aim to be. Loving, forgiving, awakened, aware, hope-filled and Earth conscious.

But, wow. I don’t even know what else to say except it was the best movie I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

And if you can and love to dance … like really dance … dream of being a dancer … have been a dancer … admire good dancers … or if you just love Michael Jackson …

Then you MUST see this movie on the big screen in the short time you have left, because oh my God … it was totally golden.

I cried on the inside and bit my lip to not cry on the outside – not because I was sad but because I was so moved by the talent and pure awesomeness and beauty that is Michael Jackson and his production family.

Such head-exploding goodness.

(Obviously, I would be a horrid film reviewer with things like “head-exploding goodness”. Forgive me if you’re actually taking this review seriously … I’m just excited.)

But I loved it and being there was the highlight of my year* maybe.

Go see. It’ll fill you with groove and awe.

*I live a sheltered, yet music and dance filled, life. Don’t judge.

I think I love this song …

I love it now … with le vin goggles … but how will I feel about it in the morning?

Keeping in mind that I’m the queen of cheese …

Fromage et vin.

Robert Francis. Yes, he moves.

Yes, he moves in a big way. Good stuff – I like.

*thumb up*

~~

You said you want to be outside and you want to feel alive
I said I didn’t want to move I just wanted to survive
So I sit here waiting for the sun to come
And I watched it rise like we’d never done

I want to kill myself just to kill all the pain
But then you’d know you’d feel like you’re the one to blame
You were just too young and just too smart
Probably the best candidate for a broken heart

Rock and roll my little girl
Rock and roll in your big big world

Rock and roll my little girl
Rock and roll in your big big world

In a drunken state I call your name
From the bottom of my soul to the blood in my veins
Those days in the car when I couldn’t pull through
You sang to me and all I wanted was you

I cant seem to do anything right anymore
How the days are so long and the nights are a blur
I want you to know that I’ll always be the only one there
While you listen to his heartbeat
While he runs his hands through your hair

Rock and roll my little girl
Rock and roll in your big big world

Each day he works past the 9 to 5
Tell me tell me how does he know if you’re even still alive
You made a portrait of myself and it made me cry
And through all the tears I lost I looked myself in the eye

What kind of man have I become that I have to let this go
Fate has made a fool of me I’ll reap now what I sow
We were just two people alike indignity
Felt the ancient grudge to the mutiny of me

And I guess this is where we’ll end our scene
Where my civil blood leaves my seething hands unclean

Rock and roll my little girl
Rock and roll in your big big world

Sitting here eating my oatmeal and drinking OJ with a coffee chaser, I’m most definitely concert-hung this morning.

For the most past, Jason Mraz fulfilled and exceed every one of my expectations at GM Place last night (note attendance: 10,000). And I guess that’s where a teensy weency bit of disappointment lays – I’m so used to listening to this guy’s acoustic recordings and performances in small venues that the sound at GM Place was a little too big for my tastes; very loud with some serious bass that shook me right to the core – which I totally dig – it’s just that I’ve never turned to Mraz for my bass line fix before. But what can you do when serving 10,000 in an arena, right?

Regardless, I loved it.

My favorite part of the show was Mr. Mraz himself. For one he’s hot. And he can move. And groove. And sing. Oh my God can that boy sing. The energy that flows through his body and into his music and back is insane. He’s loose, ultra laid back, funny, thoughtful, beautiful.

Groovy. That word is so peace symbol donning hippy-ish, but it’s the only word I can think of for Jason Mraz live, after incredibly sexy.

I’ve been reading his blog for awhile now and I’m pretty fascinated by him lately. Not his music so much as his purpose, lifestyle and beliefs.

The guy has been a massive inspiration to my entire outlook on life these days which is positive thinking, living this moment, seeking out the best in every situation and person I come across, giving myself, seeing the beauty in everything (especially the things that used to depress me like rain…and my past…which has now, in my mind, formed something beautiful and rich called a history book) being aware of and educated about what’s really going into my body and my family’s bodies, breathing, fresh air, meditating, stretching and being conscious of my impact on the environment.

And I guess that’s what my whole Jason Mraz fixation is. It’s not really his music I was there for last night, rather his energy; I most definitely got that as it’s so immense I was able to feed off it all night and it’s still in me.

He makes me want to be a better, happier, more peaceful and passionate person.

Totally inspirational. Totally worth it. Totally fulfilled.

Every little thing is gonna be alright.

10,000 people singing it out loud at GM Place last night:

Groovy.

Just 1:14 of a 3:33 minute track that I’m listening to right now, ‘Cascade Locks’ is another goody. I highly recommend downloading it if you like as this sample is quite a tease. Talkdemonic is definitely a sound to check out if you’re into the beauty of emotion-stirring instrumentals; it’s always right before bed that I load this kind of stuff into my brain. Chilly beats. Yea.

EEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!! Am I going to see Jason Mraz on Wednesday? I am? Yes!!

UPDATE:

See? Another example of making wishes on Facebook and them coming true. Well, if you have one of these (the man, not the Cup)…

In this family, we don’t do birthdays – we do birth weeks. So while I’m off preparing for, shopping for, decorating for and making this the most amazing birth week ever for my beautiful, almost four year old angels (on Wednesday) – I leave you with a little Guns N’ Roses.

Also, many thanks to a few people who spread my last post around – Jeremy and his Slow Clap, CableGirl at 42 (who I’m not sure is writing anymore as her blog isn’t loading, but her share on Facebook brought in shit loads of views over the weekend) and Jenty for sharing in the Google reader – making it the most viewed post I’ve ever had, like tenfold. So yay! You guys, my readers and friends, all rock – thanks for encouraging, coming out and reading a post I was extremely passionate about, yet hesitant to write.

And unless I do up one of those puke-a-rific mommy blogger birthday letters or year-by-year series of pictures (highly unlikely on either), I’ll see you next week after a few parties.

Sometimes.

Sometimes I’m.

Sometimes I’m grateful.

Sometimes I’m grateful for.

Sometimes I’m grateful for a.

Sometimes I’m grateful for a kickin.

Sometimes I’m grateful for a kickin pair.

Sometimes I’m grateful for a kickin pair of.

Sometimes I’m grateful for a kickin pair of headphones.

So I can have a techno audiogasm.

(Not me. I just play a DJ on my blog)

The more I venture outside of the parenting blog world, my eyes are opening to people doing things – things that are not parenting, writing about it and posting photographs of it.

Disclaimer: In no way am I saying that parenting, writing about it and taking pictures of it is not ‘doing things’ – it’s what I do from 8am to 8pm each day and occasionally in the middle of the night. It’s doing something huge indeed. Throw in there working outside the home and you’re doing something bigger than huge – one of the hardest things I’ve done in my life.

What I’m talking about here are individuals – some have children and some don’t – with passions, dreams, great ideas, baked ideas and LOVES. They’re sort of saying, “Fuck the grind for life, the stereotypes, the way it’s supposed to be” – and they’re actually doing things instead of just talking them to death or settling; constantly moving towards their dreams and goals and nurturing their inner child. They’re thinking and walking a path less taken – one of personal achievement, a life fiery with passion.

As parents, I think we should all be able to look at our grown children in our old age and say they were our greatest achievements – it basically goes without saying that raising our kids is first priority.

But what about our greatest achievements as individuals? Our greatest achievements as people with our own minds, talents and lusts?

Kids go to bed, weekends at Gramma’s, summer camps, they grow, start school, extracurriculars, sports, spend time with friends, sleepovers, go out on weekend nights, graduate, travel, college, move away. And then what?

Nothing for a lot of people – the couple in the coma. The man’s reading the paper and the woman’s looking at her food and into space. Not a word or eye contact is exchanged – yeah, we all know them and I find them painful to watch. They’ve just run out of things to say to each other because they stopped evolving their individual ages ago. And sadly, that’s acceptable for so many people.

On the other hand, these people I’m observing – they’re in motion – thinking, doing, creating and discovering. They’re electric; you can practically feel their energies through their words; you’re in their heads witnessing the sparks and light bulbs. You know the person you’re reading – the individual and their passions are constantly evolving and growing rather than becoming lost and withering.

They’re the couple sitting at the restaurant shooting ideas off at each other; writing on napkins; barely eating; laughing; sharing stories. People watch them.

They’re doing shit bigger and better and seem happy and energetic whether they’re making money or not. And it’s so fucking awesome and inspirational to witness.

I have passions – major loves of my life that have been swept under the rug for way too long because they’re not really ‘mom’ things and they don’t really fit into the family dynamic, you know? I don’t feel well sometimes because I’m shoved into a really tight spot. A spot where one day becomes the next and it was no different than yesterday or tomorrow. It’s mundane. I can’t fucking stand mundane for too long – it messes with my brain and the way I take care of myself.

I sit there and think, “I wish…” or “If only…..” or “I’m too _____ to do that/move like that/listen to that/dress like that”. Most of the time I feel 24 in the body of a 30 year old and my mind feels like it’s got two areas: the responsible parent – Area Jen Mother and the kid – Area Jen Individual.

The parent wants to aim high and give her everything to raising children and running a smooth domestic ship. The kid just wants to mix music, dance and ski all over the world.

I have dreams, man. And I’ve finally realized after reading so much inspiring stuff – that it’s all possible in some alternate form. Also, that it’s more than possible to blend the parent and inner child.

Colin and I have a dream that we’ve been talking about for over a year now that could eventually put us on helicopters hovering over terrain park kickers and behind high-end photography, filming and editing equipment capturing motion in film and still at our favorite place – the mountains. These ideas will put us in athletic hubs and immersed in winter sports – perhaps all over the world one day if we’re good enough. X-Games would be yummy, too.

And then there’s my music addiction. I spend hours every night pouring over hundreds of songs – new and old – trying to find that perfect hook or break or riff or lyric or bass line. Something different. Something that brings my groove. I usually find a little treasure most nights, even if it’s just two tracks out of two hundred I’ve sampled – and it all goes into a vault.

All of my found music will eventually be used in conjunction with the athletic stuff. Maybe one day I’ll make enough money to buy everything I’d need to mix up my own sound. Something like this maybe. Haha, I’ve got the most bizarre tastes, but I’m so in love with this find even though it’ll bring me the strange looks…

Smash a kangaroo with me?

And I love to dance, obviously (and not the kind ya’ll do on the dance floors with your dresses and bare feet after a glass of wine too many – though I did do that at a wedding a few months ago and it was eight glasses of wine too many and good times).

That video I posted the other day might have just been some kid dancing like a robot to most, but what I see in that tape is precision popping and locking to each individual break. At times he’s moving his head, neck, arms, fingers and feet all in perfect time – one of the hardest things in the world to do with your body. I’ve spent hours watching that tape – sometimes just watching his feet, other times watching his arm or hand. I’m enchanted by that kid I tell ya.

I’ll never be able to dance at that level as Michael Jackson was not my personal mentor from the age of 11 – but I’m totally obsessed with flow and movement. And that’s going to come in handy with the combination of athletics and music thing above.

And really, why am I not dancing? Like really dancing hard? That’s what I used to do everyday – what I love – and it’s one of the best ways to shape my body – mixing ballet for flexibility, hip-hop for cardio and pop and lock for precision and challenge. I don’t even need to pay for it because it’s all self-taught. It’s just a matter of getting back in-tune with my body and what it can actually do.

I can do this; take the other path. And I’m going to. No more sweeping my passions under the rug because ‘I don’t think I can’. I can do anything.

It’s time to stop talking and start doing.